


Spider Troubles

by your_taxidermy



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Humor, Josephine Montilyet - Freeform, Multi, ironbull - Freeform, pure and wholesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 18:10:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11972850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_taxidermy/pseuds/your_taxidermy
Summary: Spider trouble in Skyhold





	Spider Troubles

_ “Ambassador Josephine, at your service.” _ She said the words a hundred times a day. But for once… she needed someone to be of service to her. Skyhold started to develop a little problem with… spiders. She was terrified of them. Seeing them made her cringe, she felt like they’d make their way to her as she slept. She knew there was not much that could be done - Skyhold had more important issues and fixing the spider problem was not one of them. Josie knew the day was young, she had plenty of time to inspect, shake out bed covers before getting to work. Her room was spider-free, it set a decent mood for the day. Her office would be a different story but alas, she was hopeful. The woman slipped into her clothes, putting her hair up slicking her edges back with water. The woman fixed any imperfections in her clothes before exploring Skyhold. Fresh air would do her some good before getting to work. She made sure to close the door behind her so no hounds disturbed her belongings. 

 

Flowers were everywhere, she watched everyone relax and chat, overhearing very obscene things about Bull as she walked. She giggled to herself, walking by like nothing was heard. “Hey, Josie. I never see you out here. How’s it going?” The Iron bull called from afar, waving for her to come over. She waved back and started walking towards him, a rather large puddle stopping her in her tracks. It had just rained and the ground hadn’t had time to fully settle. She stood at the edge, the tips of her shoes barely touching the water. Bull chuckled, not understanding how she was so prim and proper. “Need some help, Josie?” The Qunari asked, taking long strides over to her. Maker, he was so tall. “That would be very much appreciated, Bull!” she replied, looking down at the water. Bull stepped in the water and wrapped his large hands around the woman, picking her up and placing her over the water. She didn’t realize how tall he was until her feet were dangling. “There ya go, Josie. What’s up anyway?” he asked kindly, tilting his head. “Well, I’ve received a letter from an Antivan merchant who can supply us with more silks and other luxury fabrics for a small price!” She smiled and continued on with her storytelling. “We will be receiving a  shipment of Qunari drapery, as the Inquisitor informed me. I was told they are for you, information is still coming in, so I shall keep you updated if you like.” Josephine added, taking a deep breath as she was talking quite fast. “Damn, the Inquisitor has been decking the place out, I’m not complaining though. And I take it you gotta get back to work, like always, yeah?” Bull replied, crossing his huge arms. “You are correct, Bull. But can you get me over the-” 

 

She was cut off by his actions, hoisting her into the air and gently placing her on the solid ground. She cleared her throat. “Ahem, thank you, Bull. I will be seeing you.” “See ya later, Josie.” The Ambassador made her way back into the stone castle, admiring the new decor that was added. She went into her office and looked through the papers before sitting down. Her desk was covered in new letters, as she sorted through, she noticed a pair of legs move under the letter was holding. She turned it over to see what it was, and to her horror, a massive black spider was gripping onto the paper. A scream left her body and she dropped the paper on her desk, the spider resting on her desk. She backed away and placed her hand on her chest, trying to slow her heartbeat. How could she do her work now when there’s a massive fucking spider on her desk? She walked around the desk, cringing every time it moved. Her door was pushed open by the Iron Bull, as he heard the scream downstairs. “Josie! What’s wrong, heard you scream.” Bull asked, looking into her room. He was perfect, tall, muscular and fearless. Surely he could handle it for her. “Bull… I must ask a favor of you. There is a spider on my desk, they are becoming more and more apparent and I’m deathly terrified of them. Could you please kill this for me?” she asked, an awkward expression coming over her face. He laughed. 

 

“Hell yeah, I’ll kill it. Just stand behind the door, alright?” Josie didn’t fight, she rushed out of the room and shut the door behind her. 

 

“Alright, you son of a bitch. You’re about to face The-Iron-Fucking-Bull, you hear me?” he growled, stepping closer to the desk. “You’re meeting your God today, you little bastard.” he paced around the desk, locking his eyes on the target. Josie heard his words from the door, wondering if something else snuck in her office. She heard a grunt and heavy breathing, her mind was lost. Little did she know, Bull was punching the air in front of the spider, readying himself for the kill. The spider was unphased by the Bull, perhaps reading the letters. It began to explore the desk, its long legs pushing him over the edge. His battle axe hit the creature, and tragically, the Ambassador’s desk. She busted through the door to see Bull’s axe stuck in her desk. 

 

“Sorry, Josie. It moved.”   

**Author's Note:**

> This is sooooo old but I wanna post it :D  
> I'm working on a series titled Men of Skyhold To the Rescue and I haven't added more... maybe I will!  
> But enjoy this, as I see Bull and Jose being oddly good friends!


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